I will start by saying: these posts about my childhood trauma I’m telling you guys; is a heavy topic. Sensitive people and minors are advice to not read this. The content contains rape, violence, mental abuse, physical abuse and death. Pedophiles, molesters and a lot of narcissism.
I write here to sort out my flashbacks and memories. But also, to leave something for investigation, in case something bad happens to me. I have survived a lot and it would be a shame to get this far and not be able to tell my story, just in time.
This is in Sweden.
Grooming children is a big part of rape culture and it starts very early. That’s how you get money and control over the baby.
I remember there was another baby with me, my age, looked like me and everyone used to compare us to each other. Her name was Fatima. I remember her glittery ballerina shoes. She used to wear flowery dresses. She was outgoing and fun.
We just wanted to sleep. Especially me, I slept all the time. She was in my dreams. And I don’t really know why my dad picked her over me. Maybe because she still couldn’t walk, barely stand up. They differentiate us by the ribbon colors in our hair. She had a yellow ribbon and I had blue.
We lived in Linköping. My dad used to wake up in the middle of the night and pick her up, to put his dick in her. Her vagina was really big from all the rape. She had loose greenish poop all the time and was fighting inflammation. He used to come to our bed and hit us in the face. He’d then pick the one who cried and tortured her. She wasn’t allowed to cry. He’d put her on his dick and when she tried to stand up, he’d tell her to sit down in a harsh manner.
He was a monster. He and his friends and his dad would rape her hard. When she got sick, they raped her even harder. ‘Let’s use her as much as possible before she dies.’ is the mentality. He and his friends were high on marijuana and they were stressed about money. My grandpa had a really big dick and was teaching the art rape. After that my sister didn’t recover.
My dad forced her to do different bends and he would hit her really hard on the face when she did a mistake. She was the example for me, how he wanted me to do it after her. After that he made her suck his dick till she would gag and not be able to breathe. She was full of bruises and bite marks by him.
Guess who came to the rescue with his rescue helicopter and air gun? My baby brother Ali. My mother denies he existed. This is why I write this. So everyone knows he existed!
They all hated him when he interrupted their rape acts with us girls. They’d run after him like stone age people do when they go hunting. He would run away laughing. Deliberately make sure they wouldn’t rape us.
Oh, by the way. My mother is tired of the word rape. Oh, I forgot.. You gave them the consent for me. Bitch shut up! Yes, rape. That is what this shit is called. And it’s a criminal thing if you still don’t know. Why are you a burden right now? I won’t baby you. Your happiness is no one’s responsibility but your own. Watch how I take care of mine. 🙂
My dad dropped me on my face on the floor. With his feet, he would then stomp on me. He blamed Fatima for having “sex” with other men. No mom, having rape! Sure, he was high. But even if you are high. Your real face is what we get to see even more. He had a “don’t trust a hoe” attitude with Fatima. Every night was a fight for her life.
If he got a cold or any other type of disease on his dick he would blame Fatima. Like: she brings us diseases. She is not a useful product anymore. Can’t be sold. Can’t be fucked. You need to go bitch!
She used to put her hands up to protect herself from him hitting her. But he wanted total mind control. He got even more vicious and told her to put her hands down. She was a storm from all the torture and couldn’t put her hands down when he hit her on her face! So he took 2 fingers away from her hand with a chainsaw. Her thumb and index finger. Then he hit her even more with a belt! We could walk and talk here. I tried to comfort her when the storm was over. Tried to remind her that she was still alive as if I knew what death was.
Yea, Fatima felt she didn’t belong in this world. It didn’t matter what she did. It all was her fault. She only fucked up when she couldn’t read his mind. She got even quieter.
He taught her how to sit on his dick! And then suck his dick. He had her, he had mind control over her from that moment on. No matter how unimpressed she was in the beginning.
I felt really left out. We worked just as hard. I just believed in getting stuff done and moving on. Everyone was looking for Fatima. My dad obsessed with her all the time and “loved” her unusually hard. I saw what he was doing. I thought she was crazy for loving him back so hard. Now I understand, she had too.
I don’t even remember if she talked here. But Fatimas was looking at our mom and wondering why she wouldn’t love her. Not knowing, her mom doesn’t even love herself. But a baby have the right to ask these questions!
My dad’s friends were allowed in and out from our house as they wished. And they came and just picked her up and took her home when they wished too. No one wanted me, they always looked for her. My parents would fight because this baby was sick but my dad would still do whatever he wanted to her.
My grandpa had this odd thing he would do. He would marry his rape victim. Fatima was his wife. They had a tiny wedding and we were all invited. My dad did not respect their marriage and still raped Fatima. So grandpa’s, aka devil’s, revenge was to tear Fatimas vagina apart.
I have been through it, just being raped as a baby, toddler and child set’s a fire in your stomache. Having healthy sex as a grown up set’s a fire in you, the good kind of fire. I’m talking about an unhealing fire, internal fire you can’t put out. Fatima baby, was very sick. They knew it. They knew. And went harder. His dad, went the hardest when he heard her cry.
He gaind her trust as a baby just to finish her. He couldn’t talk to his own son. Cowards, can’t even talk to their own kids in a decent manner. Instead, he killed his son’s daughter to make a statement. That his Ego is way too big for a babys life. Too big to let his son have his own wicked mind. He had to be the most wicked.
Finally, my dad told my mom that he would take her to the doctor. Outside of Sweden, it was a special doctor somewhere overseas. Off he went. But shortly, maybe the same day, he came back without her. And then went away for months.
When Fatima died, my grandpa wanted to marry me. (Triangel drama- post)
My dad came back for Ali, and tried to kill him as well.
Me and my baby brother became thighter from this moment on. My brother saw what the grown ups were doing and some of it he did to me too. He didn’t like Fatima because he saw her in the “club”. He was a bit mean and impatient with her. He wanted us to stand up for ourselves. Yea, he didn’t like us hoeing around. Well, we had no choice and we didn’t want to do that shit, to begin with.
Our parents had twins and we were a burden to them. One too many. We were unplanned bastards. Their solution was to keep only one and pick the most gifted one of us. I guess the one that could sell and work the most. My dad just wanted to be famous and sell videos of us.
Fatima went through a lot of torture because she loved her dad and wanted to end his pain. At the end, she was fed up with pain and hurt. She just wanted to get high on life. That’s what she wanted all along since she is outgoing and fun. He knew what he had picked and gave her the responsibility to fill the void in his heart.
Oh, well my dad had two. So what if he fucked one up. There was always another chance.
I was lonely in the house and I guess that Ali must have heard their plans. He made sure his baby stayed. I swear he is sent from heaven to me. They gave him drugs so he didn’t even know what he was doing. He had a different view. I kid that survives this shit feels like a champion. And Ali was. He was loyal and he saw, me and him, as one.
God sent boy! We all knew he was a different kind. They gambling problems and believed in some old school rape. Ali was different in that, he put passion and love into what he was doing. Or he didn’t fuck with it.
Fatima seemed cold and mean. We were all a bit scared of her. She was just FED UP! She had all the right to be. She felt like she didn’t matter. Stoped minding what her dad did to her, or what other people did to her, She finally started seeing her dad for what he really was. Unfixable, unloving hypocrite.
In her place they brought me MKD’s ugly daughter and told me she was my new sister for a couple of days. Wow! I know you just want to confuse a silly baby like me, but the kid had blonde afro. Was tall and clumsy. Nothing like my twin sister. You rapists were too protective of this kid anyway when I hit her back. You weren’t protective with my sister. Chill!
My mom didn’t care one bit about Fatima! She had Ali and me. My dad had Fatima. No one is allowed to get involved in the other one’s business. So my mom would dress us nicely, fix our hairs just so my dad would have something to destroy. “Something to mess up in front of a camera.”
Yes, he always messed Fatima up, messed her clothes, messed her hair, hit her in her face, yell at her and call her names; we didn’t even know what they meant. However, it still hurt. He didn’t even shower her. He had total control of Fatima. My mom had no say and she didn’t care all that much anyway. Drugs were more important to her. Yeah, I guess she had too many kids too.
I’m here to expose these peoples ugly truths.
(He acted this way with another baby sister of mine as well. We lived in Uppsala and every night him and my mom used “comfort” a baby that wouldn’t sleep at night. I’d always hear her cry very loudly every night. At first, it was annoying but as nights went on I started getting worried. Once I went out and was horrified at what I heard from outside of the room. He was hitting her and saying nasty things to her. I heard smacks.
I opened the door to ask what was going on. He was raping her. She was on her stomach on the fence of her baby bed. He had tied her to it with belts. When he saw me he got startled. He and my mom told me to go back to sleep. Yelled at me and said that she just wanted some milk. This baby always slept between them too.
She got really sick one day. And that’s when it got even worse. Because to these people, if you are not good for rape, what else could you possibly be good for? That’s when he invited his friends. They climbed up from their bedroom window. )
Thank you for reading through!
They fired Fatima!